Blessed are the autists and conspiracy theorists, for they shall see God
Notes about being socially defective
Today many people talk about autism and Asperger's syndrome, some even complain that it is caused by vaccines.
I don't know if it is caused by vaccines, or by chemtrails, or by modern diets, or by smartphones, or by something else, but it is true that it seems much more prevalent today than it used to be. I see a lot of people with that condition today, and this wasn't a reality years ago.
I am afraid I am also in the spectrum. Not something very serious, I wouldn't consider myself really autistic or even Asperger, but sometimes I have trouble socializing or even understanding social codes.
Now, first of all, let us make clear that socializing is basically learning to lie. In order to successfully be part of society you have to talk to people you hate and pretend to like them, you need to be able to laugh at unfunny jokes, you need to be able to say one thing while meaning the total opposite, you need to master the subtle art of stabbing people in the back with a smile, and you need to quickly learn non-verbal cues which are many times more important than the actual words spoken.
One of my favourite novels by Dostoevsky is “The Idiot”. The main character is this young man, Prince Mishkin, who is very honest and pure of heart, and of course everyone takes him for an idiot. Or if not, then they assume he must have some other hidden and more sly intentions behind his innocence. They think: “Oh, I get it, he's saying this because he wants to impress the Baroness so-and-so." That's the great irony of the novel, that people just can't believe that someone could actually be honest and pure of heart in social situations. If you are, then you are either an idiot or pretending to be one.
I'm not saying that autists or people in the Asperger's spectrum are more pure of heart than other people, far from that, but they do have trouble understanding others when social codes are not direct and straightforward and and when interactions are based on lies and everyone knows they are lies, except the autists.
I myself am what I would call a delayed autist. It's not that I don't understand social codes, but sometimes I am a bit… slow. I may not pick things up immediately. A recent example: I was speaking with this girl in an art gallery, and then she then said something like, “okay, now I'm going to the next room". And that was code for, “okay, now I don't want to talk to you anymore, I want to be alone or talk to other people". But I didn't understand it immediately and followed her to the next room in the gallery, and only afterwards when she gave me an impatient look I understood. “Ooh I see".
Being socially defective it's like being deaf or blind. Actually, it's worse, because people understand deafness and blindness and they are compassionate and treat you with kindness. But with social disabilities, they just think you're being an asshole. “I just told this guy very clearly that I didn't want to talk to him anymore, why the hell is he still here?”
And of course women in particular are specialists in being extremely indirect and giving non-verbal or visual cues, that men, or at least some men, have trouble understanding.
Another thing I’m bad at is pretending to like people I don’t like or that I know that don’t like me. But this is something that is unavoidable in social situations.
For me, it’s not that I am rude, but I just prefer not to talk to someone that I don’t like or that I know that doesn’t like me. It feels like a waste of time. But the rules of society are that you have to pretend to be equally nice to everyone. This is especially important at work, where you depend or have to collaborate with other people, and so you have to constantly interact with people that are not really that into you.
Now, the other thing with social interactions is that they have a cumulative effect. The more popular you are, the more people will want to be with you, and conversely, the more unpopular and lonelier you are, the more people will see you as strange and try to avoid you. The worse you are at interacting with others, the worse it's going to get, and the worse people are going to treat you.
You learn that pretty quickly in high school, where all the popular kids hang together and the unpopular ones have to form their own little groups of outcasts and freaks. If they manage even that.
But there is one saving grace for the socially disabled, and this is the point I wanted to make, that they tend to see things more clearly, or, at least, they are less blinded by socialization. They believe what they see, not what they are told to believe. That's why conspiracy theories are popular with this group, and unpopular with the rest of the more socialized population.
A lot of things people believe are simply because the majority of other people believe it. Just that. Socialization.
We are told that when Jesus entered into Jerusalem for the first time he was received with cheers, and a week later the same people were crying, “Crucify him!”
The same people.
It seems hard to understand, until you realize that this is simply how human nature works. Just look at any celebrity that falls in disgrace and suddenly becomes unpopular, the same people who first cheered them will heavily criticize them.
And the same is true of political and social issues. People believe what they are told to believe or whatever the majority of people believe. Today, most people claim to value diversity and multiculturalism and sing its praises. But if a fascist government came to power and the message changed overnight, the same people would be chanting fascist hymns and screaming for concentration camps for foreigners. The same people.
We saw this with Covid or with the war, people changing their opinions basically overnight.
And so, all hope of understanding complex political and social issues depends on the socially defective, but, since we are unpopular and weird, no one listens to us. We are like modern-day Cassandras, eternally warning of conspiracy theories to people who won't listen.
May God bless the autists and the socially inept, for they shall be consoled, if not in this life, then maybe in the next.
